I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
