I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
