it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
