If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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