Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
there was a trapeze. enough said
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
