girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
