I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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