Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
be right there i have to get my cape
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
