i don't like sucking hair
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
