i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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