There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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