I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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