Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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