omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti