Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.