Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
