I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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