are you so shy because you have an std?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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