I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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