We won't sleep together?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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