at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she smelled like a LAN party
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
