Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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