Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
