They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
