u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
