you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
pop tarts are not kleenex
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize