Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
