u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
