You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
