I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think your dad took our porno
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
