Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
