he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
