Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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