Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
