but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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