just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
