It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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