I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
