It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
