Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
