thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize