Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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