Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
