I must be too annoying 4 u.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
