"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
