Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
