if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
