the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
