Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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