Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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