My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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