not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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