im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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