This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
