WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
