She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
