my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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