My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
