im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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