Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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